Have you ever found yourself comparing your success to others? You start looking at the girl next to you, and thinking “If I could just be like her, then…?” Or you see what good ‘ole Sally is doing over on IG and you think, “Wow, she looks super successful… what am I doing wrong?”
Maybe you just feel like success is a weighty word and you don’t think you have anything to offer.
Well, girl, if you’ve ever felt like that, then this episode is gonna bless your ears (and your heart)!
Success Isn’t About Sally Next Door
To dig deeper into our love-hate relationship with success, I sat down and chatted with Jamie Ivey, podcast host and author of “You Be You: Why Satisfaction and Success Are Closer Than You Think.”
Jamie brings such a great perspective to the table. This girl’s on a mission to show women that their mark on the world doesn’t happen by mimicking someone else’s life or calling. It happens when you live faithfully with what God has given you (not Sally next door).
Jamie has a pretty cool story of how she went from stay-at-home mom of four to a radio station host and then author.
I’ll let you hear those details yourself when you listen to the episode, 😉 but needless to say, Jamie’s had her own journey of redefining success and finding satisfaction in any season.
Stay In Your Own Lane
Something that she said in the beginning of our conversation really hit me: “I don’t think we’re going to be satisfied if we’re constantly trying to live our lives like someone else.”
WOAH. Just sit in that for a sec.
Girl’s speaking to my soul. How often do I try to do what someone else is doing because I think it will make me successful?
It reminds me of my (short-lived) high school track days. I’ll never forget the race where I was going up against a girl from our school’s biggest rival.
I was determined to try to beat her. But as the race started, I was so focused on what she was doing and trying to outdo her that I wasn’t even focused on excellently finishing my own race.
And you know what happened? I tripped and landed flat on my face. 🙈 All the other runners passed me and I had to limp across the finish line in last place. Talk about embarrassing!
But that’s how life is sometimes. You end up face planting when you’re trying to be someone else because you get so caught up in their race that you forget about the race God put in front of you.
I need to tend my garden and make sure that I’m stewarding what God has put in front of me. And when I do that (instead of trying to replicate what someone else is doing) THEN I find satisfaction. In embracing my own talents and skills and living out my unique calling.
Stop Believing This Lie
Jamie also talked about a lie that many women believe: “If I can’t do as much as she’s doing, then I don’t have anything to offer.”
When you’re so distracted looking at what another woman is doing, you often tell yourself that if you can’t be at her level, then that means you have nothing to give.
Friend, I need you to say this with me right now: That is not true.
Satan wants you to be trapped in that kind of thinking so that you don’t use your gifts.
So, listen to me on this.
Everyone has different talents, skill sets and giftings. How you use them is not going to be the same as how someone else does.
You also go through different seasons in your life. The way you use your gifts is going to look very different when you’re single, when you’re raising young kids, and when you’re retired.
What you’re doing right now matters and there is no measuring stick that determines your value.
Whatever you’re able to do in the season you’re in right now, and whatever that looks like for you is full of purpose and incredible value.
What Can You Do?
So, when you’re struggling with comparison or worth, what can you do? Jamie shared two things:
- Be a cheerleader for other women. We’re all on the same team. We can cheer each other on without wanting to BE each other.
- Remember that you don’t have to be invited to a larger table before you can share what you have. You have something to bring to the table and you don’t have to wait until you reach a certain success level, number of followers, or job title. Be where you are now and bring your voice.
As Jamie said, “The best voice is the one that you bring to the table.” 👏
Satisfaction and Success Are Closer Than You Think
Don’t devalue what you have to offer by telling yourself you don’t meet a standard someone else has set.
Stay in your lane, girl, and run an excellent race – by running your own race.
If you’re ready to do just that, then tune in to this episode to learn:
- How to stop defining success by how others define it
- Ways to be faithful with what God has given
- How you can stop being a slave to measurements and goals, but still do work excellently
- Why you should shift from just doing a lot of work to doing excellent work that matters
- How to overcome the myth of always being “superwoman” and embrace the season you’re in
- How to own your gifts and skills without guilt
This episode is gonna bless you, friend. And if you’re hungry for more, you can grab Jamie’s new book here.
P.S. Want to hear even more? check out our full collection of podcast episodes here.