A friend and I recently sat crosslegged on the floor of her living room, as her 8 month old crawled about and cooed with excitement each time we caught her eye.

We talked for hours, about life, Jesus, marriage, all the good stuff. At one point in the conversation, she said something to the effect of, “I think you and Matt have such a fun friendship element to your marriage. That’s not an easy thing to accomplish!”

And it struck me.

I had never thought of it like that. But the conversation got my wheels turning, and I realized there really have been some intentional things we’ve done that have helped build a fun bond and strong friendship between us. So I wrote them up in a list for you to learn from.

Below, you’ll find 10 simple, practical, and creative ways to build a stronger friendship in your marriage.

1. Establish little traditions, just the two of you. One of our favorite things to do is hop in the car and go for Sunday drives, blare country love songs on the radio, and sing them to each other shamelessly.

2. Flirt. I like to wink at him from across the room or point out when his pants make his legs look good—even in front of friends. (Oops 😉 Don’t be ashamed of hitting on each other or building each other up. It shows you’re proud of the other and aren’t afraid to show it.

3. Do what the other loves. I’m personally not a fan of fishing but he loves it. Now and then, we cast a line together. It always ends up being a blast & I often learn something new.

4. Take risks together. We love to try new things and step out to do things people may not expect us to do at this stage of our life. It’s important to feel like it’s you against the world.

5. Don’t take things so dang seriously. Be weird together but do NOT put the other down unless you’re BOTH in on the joke.
6. Challenge each other. Sometimes we will go for a 1-2 mile jog together, cheering each other on and racing the last bit home. It’s good to push each other and a little competition in good fun can do wonders for ya.

7. Create your own language. Have code words no one else knows to communicate things like “I’m ready to go” when you’re out together. Instead living in your own worlds, be intentional about creating your own little world together.

8. Learn their favorites. Just tonight, we decided on take out. And instead of having to write down my order, he just asked, “your regular?” There’s something sweet about that. Pay attention to what they order, the styles they like, or tunes they tend to sing. it creates a sweet friendship when you really take time to learn each other, not just co-exist together.

9. Pray for each other, with each other, & over each other. Listen to their pain points and speak life into them. Its one of the best best ways to communicate you love, care for, and respect their heart.

10. Hold each other accountable and call the other UP, not out. Iron sharpens iron, baby!