“Okay, sure, I can get that work done tonight.”
“I can babysit – that’s not a problem.”
“Of course I can help out with that. I’ll just move some things around.”
“That’s my one night off, but I can volunteer.”
Have you ever found yourself saying “yes” to something, even when you’re already at your capacity?
I’ve been there, friend.
If you have a big heart for helping others and making a difference, you’ve probably found yourself falling into the trap of people pleasing.
Maybe setting boundaries makes you feel selfish or maybe saying “no” makes you feel like you’re letting people down.
In this episode of the SHE podcast, I’m digging deep into the lies we believe about people pleasing and how to stop trying to make everyone happy.
Trying to make everyone happy is not the secret to being liked
Before you start setting boundaries in your life, it’s important to know that there are three reasons why trying to make everyone happy is not the secret to being liked.
Here they are:
- The reality is that you’ll never be able to make everyone happy. And while we know this in our heads, we still so often try to make everyone happy anyways! But the truth is that some people won’t see eye to eye with you. Some people will have different values. Some people won’t appreciate when you’re giving and giving.
- Because you’ll never be able to make everyone happy, you’ll quickly get burnt out in the process of trying to please everyone. You’ll start to feel like you’re being pulled in so many directions – just like Elastigirl from The Incredibles.
- The people who actually like you for you, and not for what you can do for them, can end up suffering the consequences of you trying to please everyone. You’ll be so burnt out and spread thin from trying to be everything for everyone, you won’t be able to fully show up for them.
So stop wasting your energy and your time trying to please other people and instead focus on how you can steward your health and the people and passions that matter the most to you.
LEARN MORE ABOUT SETTING BOUNDARIES AS A PEOPLE PLEASER
Whether you’re a recovering people pleaser, or an active one, this episode will offer you lots of tips on how to set the boundaries you need.
So make sure you tune in to learn:
- Why trying to make everyone happy is not the secret to being liked by others
- Healthy ways to communicate your boundaries to others
- How to say no in a way that’s productive and kind
- Why boundaries matter
And once you’ve listened, let us know in the comments: what boundaries have you set in your life?