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An Open Letter to the Women Who Feels Behind

Jordan has a candid talk about what to do when you feel like your life is behind
I'm Jordan!
...and I wear a lot of hats. I have an obsession with helping other ambitious women achieve their dreams while ditching hustle and prioritizing their well-being. Around here, you'll find tips and tools to help you do just that!
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Do you ever feel behind in life?

Have you ever looked around at your life and thought, “This isn’t where I thought I’d be by now”?

Or do you look around at others, your sister, your cousin, your friend, the social media influencer you follow, and see all they have achieved and wonder, “What’s wrong with me?”

It’s so easy to feel rushed and hurried to achieve all the dreams you have by some arbitrary deadline that either you’ve made up for yourself, society has pressured you to conform to, or you see others around you living up to.

I’ve been there. I get it.

But today on the SHE podcast, I want to keep things short and sweet and remind you of this one thing: you are not behind.

I hope that as you read and hear these words, you’re able to take a breath, set aside the urge to rush on to the next thing, and take a moment to savor today, rather than to cram everything into today. 

You Have Time

Have ya ever noticed that the more behind you feel, the more you live rushed and discontented?

And that’s the real danger of buying into the belief that you’re behind where you should be in order to get to where you want to go: you stop living in today.

Because when you believe that you’re running out of time and have to reach every milestone you’ve set for yourself in the next year, today is not longer a day you can be, but only a day to do, accomplish, produce, then repeat again tomorrow.

If you hear nothing else, hear this: it doesn’t all have to get done right now. 

You have time.

And yes, I totally agree that we have no way to know how much time we have on earth and should live every day as if it’s our last.

But rather than motivating us to live with a scarce and fearful mindset, it should cause us all the more to savor the current season we’re in and to live in the present fully.

If you live everyday thinking, “I have limited time and today may be my last day, so I need to cram everything into today,” then I have news for you friend: you’re always going to fall short, and you won’t be very happy, either.

Our world says you should want it all and get it all. 

RIGHT. NOW.

We expect ourselves to give 100% to our family, 100% to our health, 100% to our work – and I’m no mathematician, but that just doesn’t add up.

Let go of the insane pressure you’re feeling or the notion you’ve been believing that you have to be everything to everyone.

You can’t do it all, at the same time, all the time.

And that doesn’t make you behind, it makes you human.

Live in Your Season

Growing up, my mom often told me, “Life comes in seasons.”

And dang, it’s so true.

Give yourself permission to regularly re-evaluate your priorities for the season of life you are in – not the season of life your sister is in, or your friend, or your co-worker, or me – but you.

Ask yourself, “Is everything that’s on my plate something that I want to be there? And if so, does it have to happen this year, this week, or this minute?”

You have time to take a step back if you’re feeling hurried and overwhelmed.

You have time to rest and create margin in your life.

You have time to achieve your goals and live out your dreams.

You have time to heal if you went through an illness or trauma.

You have time to nourish your body and identify what it needs to best support it.

You have time to fail and then try something new.

You have time to accomplish great things.

And it doesn’t have to happen today, it doesn’t have to happen this year, it doesn’t have to happen by the time you’re 35.

And also, who wants to peak in their 30’s anyways? 

A life of cramming and rushing is not conducive to being present for the people in your life, or to dreaming for the future.

Putting that kind of pressure on yourself will only create tension and stress for your body, which is not good for your wellness, tension and stress on your relationships, which is not good for your connection, and tension and stress for your mind and heart, which is not good for your creativity and inspiration.

And when you’re so busy forcing things to happen according to your timeline and checking things off your list, you won’t have the margin and ability to notice when you feel a tug on your heart from God directing you into what’s next.

So to the mom who feels like her dreams of a career are on hold, this is not wasted time. You’re living in your purpose now.

To the single woman in her 30’s who fears she’ll never get to be a wife or mother, this is not wasted time. You’re living in your purpose now.

To the woman who started a business, but it hasn’t taken off like you thought it would, this is not wasted time. You are living in your purpose now.

Choose to embrace the beauty of your today rather than restlessly rushing into each tomorrow.

You have time to accomplish great things without having to do it all right here and right now.

Learn More

I really do hope that these words encouraged you today.

Know that you’re not alone if you’re feeling behind, but also know that you don’t have to live according to those feelings. You can choose to be gracious with yourself.

Give yourself time today for what you need, not what you think you should be doing or what you see others doing.

You have time. 

And if this message resonated with you, I’d encourage you to take 10 minutes out of your day, be present, and listen to the full episode to hear:

    • How to create an existence that’s more lovely, rather than more rushed
    • Encouragement for when you feel behind in life
    • How to live in your present season more fully
    • Why you don’t have to achieve all of your dreams on your timeline

Once you give it a listen, let’s continue the conversation! Let us know in the comments: What is a piece of encouragement you want to share to the woman who feels behind?

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  1. Margot says:

    I love this and YES, it did resonate with me bc I’m that woman right now. If I may, I would also add to another age group of women. The women, whom, are actively taking care of their elderly parents bc they love them, but are feeling that everyone else is living their lives and achieving their goals all the while these amazing caregivers are putting their lives on hold. These women too are living their purpose now.

    • jdooley says:

      So true, Margot. Thank you for sharing! I think a lot of women are in that season of life, and it’s important to remember that they are living out their purpose right now.

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JESUS FOLLOWER, MULTI-PASSIONATE OVERACHIEVER, MENTOR, BESTSELLING AUTHOR, HAPPY WIFE. 

Hi, I'm Jordan.
& I Wear a lot of Hats.

I have an obsession with helping other ambitious, multi-passionate women succeed while ditching hustle and prioritizing their well-being. My days are spent writing books, hosting the SHE podcast, and creating resources rooted in biblical values to help you do just that. Glad you're here!

Learn more

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