Most of us would probably say we fit into one of two categories when it comes to safety:
- You feel like a paranoid mess most of the time (as a kid you created a fire escape plan for your family, were convinced you were going to be kidnapped throughout your childhood, and accidentally sprayed your friend with pepper spray when they startled you in college).
- You don’t give it a second thought (you never understood why you couldn’t go up and talk to anyone and everyone in the grocery store as a kid, you went on runs by yourself late at night throughout college, and what even is pepper spray?)
At times it feels like there’s no happy middle ground, so we either live with needless anxiety or dangerous ignorance.
But let me tell ya, neither is the best way for you to live a full and healthy life.
That’s why I am so excited for you to hear today’s conversation on SHE with Robyn Warner, a sexual assault survivor and mother of four who has taught self-defense and safety to women and girls for the past 13 years.
And *spoiler alert* Robyn has a passion to equip and empower women so that they can be confident and more aware, while not living overcome by fear.
So get ready, because whether you’re hyper vigilant or blissfully neglectful of your safety, it’s time to get more prepared, and less scared.
Building Your Awareness
Many of us passively assume that we’ll never be in a dangerous situation that requires us to use self-defense.
But there’s something so sobering about hearing the story of someone like Robyn, who’s so like us, going through something that we too often think doesn’t happen all that often, or only in movies, on the news, to really young people, or in “unsafe” areas.
You may have heard that 1 in 4 women will be sexually assaulted. The reality is, that statistic is only representative of those who have reported their abuse – it’s actually way more than that.
Like Robyn said, she shares this information not to scare you, but to prepare you.
Because the reality is, self defense starts way before you’re in an altercation with someone, it starts with having an awareness that you’re not the exception to the rule.
According to Robyn, your level of awareness is like driving a stick-shift. Most of the time you’re going to be in neutral. You’re in a safe situation that doesn’t require a heightened level of awareness.
But other times, you’re going to want to upshift your awareness in situations that leave you more vulnerable.
Pumping gas late at night? Upshift.
On a date with a guy that you met online? Upshift.
Taking your groceries back to your car with your kids? Upshift.
Then after that situation, you go back to neutral, allowing you to not be in this higher level of awareness all the time and feel constantly paranoid and anxious.
And how do you upshift? You increase your awareness of your surroundings, you take away distractions, put down your phone, make eye contact, and stand confidently.
Because the reality is, when asked what they look for in a victim, predators identified those who are distracted, on their phone, who are exuding low self confidence, or seem lost.
The way you present yourself through your body language can deter predators by making you appear less vulnerable, even while in vulnerable situations.
You’re More Powerful Than You Think
One of the most common misconceptions Robyn identified women having when it comes to self-defense is that they are helpless.
“I’m not strong enough to fight back.”
“I’m too old.”
“I’m too young.”
“I’m too small.”
Guess what? None of that is true.
You’re more powerful than you think and you have the capacity to keep yourself safe.
You don’t need to be a black belt or some CrossFit athlete. You can fight back and defend yourself.
You have everything you need and you can actively add more tools to your toolbox so you feel empowered and confident.
You can have the confidence, no matter your age, size, fitness level that you’re capable.
It’s true that you may never have the arm or leg strength of a man (trust me, Matt could bench me in his sleep), but you are on an equal playing field in certain spots of the body, so use that to your advantage.
A man can lift all day long, but his eyes, esophagus, and groin aren’t getting any stronger
Self-defense is not about increasing your physical strength, but increasing your knowledge by giving you practical tools so you can be more confident.
Learn More About Self-Defense
If you want some of those practical tools and some guidance on how you can increase your knowledge and be more prepared, then I would encourage you to sign up for Robyn’s online self defense and safety training course, S. A. F. E.
If you’re interested in taking that next step, go to safebyrobyn.com and use the code “SHE” at checkout for $25 off the course.
And if you’re wanting to hear more, give today’s episode a listen to learn:
- Why you’re not the exception when it comes to safety
- How to live prepared without being paranoid
- Tips to stay safe while dating
- How to yell the correct way
- Ways to increase your awareness to deter predators
And if you want some quick practical tips to use in your everyday life, then follow Robyn @aflyonmywall to learn more from her.
Once you listen, let us know in the comments: What is one new safety tip you learned from today’s episode?